School Is In. Bullies Are Back!

I am bully proof!

Bullying happens every day and we all know what a bully is, or do we? Before we try to answer this question, it must be understood that some bullying victims may not always let on that they are being bullied. They may hide it because they may fear consequences of more bullying, not being believed, or that the situation might be ignored by adults.

So, how do we recognize a bully? Are bullies always boys? Are bullies fat or skinny? Do they look frightful or pleasant? You should know, of course, that bullies cannot be recognized by their appearance. Bullies can be tall, short, fat, skinny, or pleasant. This is why they are hard to recognize. Hence, they come in all shapes and sizes. There is one way to recognize them and that is by the way they act or behave. Their behavior puts them into one of two categories. I label these categories as Belligerent and Deceptive.

Belligerent bullies use physical means to bully their victims. Deceptive bullies use mental and emotional ways to bully or control their victims. Which type is more harmful to your child? They can be equally harmful and have to be dealt with a little differently. Belligerent bullies are easier to recognize because of the physical aspect; they like to push, hit, kick, or make their destructive intentions known very boldly. Deceptive bullies are a lot less obvious. These bullies can, “fly under the radar”, as it were. They subtly influence their friends and acquaintances to do things that are harmful or hurtful to others. They may even influence their friends to do things that are illegal. Since all children want to “fit in”, they may do exactly what the bully tells them or dares them to do.

In order to combat these types of situations it is imperative that children have open communication with all trusted adults. If your child is being bullied, then talk to the school staff members and teachers. Working with the school personal, a plan can be built to keep bullying out.

To learn more about bullying and ways to build your child’s confidence and skill set, visit the Barnes & Noble’s online bookstore for, “Be Bully Proof with BP4”.

Deborah White Black Belt Instructor, Author, MBA, (The Self-defense Guru)