The Marriage System Is Broken—Here’s Why

Marriage is one of the most outdated institutions in modern society, and here’s why.

First off, it was never about love. The whole “soulmate” thing? That’s a Hallmark re-brand. Historically, marriage was a legal contract—one designed to control land, wealth, and, yes, women. Your great-great-great-grandmother wasn’t picking a life partner; she was part of a trade deal. And yet, despite how much the world has evolved, we still cling to this centuries-old tradition as if it’s the only path forward.

Let’s talk numbers. First marriages have a 50% failure rate. Second marriages? 70%. By the third, you might as well name your kid Almondine and launch a startup podcast. But I know what you're thinking—that won’t happen to me. And I hope you’re right. So did everyone else who got divorced. Because when people imagine their wedding, they picture the dress, the vows, and the honeymoon. What they don’t envision? Splitting assets, hiring attorneys, and fighting over who gets the air fryer.

And when things go south? Oh, buddy. Heartbreak is bad, but wait until you see the itemized invoice. Because the real winners in a divorce? The lawyers. Family law isn’t about fairness—it’s a high-stakes financial Hunger Games, and the only ones walking away unscathed are the legal representatives. Case in point: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce has lasted longer than most Hollywood marriages. If two of the richest, most powerful people on earth can’t get out of marriage cleanly, what hope do you and your joint Hulu subscription have?

Don’t even get me started on prenups. People act like they’re some kind of magical force field. They’re not. They’re a Post-it Note politely asking the judge to go easy on you—one that can be torn up faster than a losing Powerball ticket.

So why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep signing up for a lifelong contract that half of us won’t complete? Because we’ve been sold a dream: the white dress, the vows, the happily ever after. They just conveniently leave out the court dates, the alimony, and the fact that your dog is now considered marital property.

Let me be clear: I’m not against love. If you’re married, I support you. If you’re getting married, I’ll show up, eat your cake, dance the Macarena, and cheer you on like an over invested sports dad. This isn’t an attack on you personally—it’s about a system that has repeatedly proven faulty and yet remains unquestioned.

Commitment is a beautiful thing. Finding someone you truly connect with is one of life’s biggest wins. But why does the government need to be involved? Why does your love life need to be a legally binding contract—one that, if broken, turns into an all-out war?

Before you walk down the aisle this spring, ask yourself: If this goes south, am I prepared for the stress, the legal battle, and the emotional rollercoaster that could follow? Because marriage, from a legal standpoint, isn’t about love. It’s a contract with life-altering consequences.

If you’re ready for that, more power to you. If not, maybe it’s time to rethink the fine print before you say I do.